Situation: a child throws a temper tantrum.
We have two options – get triggered or not.
When we get triggered, we
- refuse to acknowledge the child’s feelings,
- worry about what others will think,
- get angry,
- start shouting,
- act harshly, and
- possibly hitting out.
This is the same reaction as the child throwing a temper tantrum, except that we are bigger, stronger, and louder.
An emotionally mature person responds by
- accepting the reality of what is happening,
- validating the child for dealing with strong emotions,
- bringing their loving, calm presence and alertness to the situation,
- creating a safe space so neither the child nor others are hurt,
- allowing the emotions to run their natural course, and
- comforting the child.
When we see someone respond to a difficult situation in a kind and mature way, we start modelling that in our lives, and it will become the norm.
Message to self – be that someone!